No doubt after I post this up someone will say 'how about that day when...', but this is the best I have for now!
Day1
Meeting at the Tunnel always makes a trip ‘real’, my personal ‘mare juggling work and a faulty TPS on the car had carried on until the evening before we left. So i threw some ‘stuff’ together, packed AND washed the car Sat morn and headed off to meet 2 ‘newbies’ – Chris (Elise) and John/Karen in their Merc convertible.. Both pals of mine for a long time and car nuts.
First thing we saw at the Tunnel was Robs legs sticking out from under his car and Rich hovering - he cant pass up an ‘open bonnet’ opportunity. Seems that the starter was ‘iffy as was the alternator....net result, PUSH STARTS.....highly amusing all week. I can only imagine how bad Rob felt about that, although he kept that well hidden!
We knocked off motorway miles to get us ‘ down country’ and finished the afternoon with some backroads to liven us up. Our hotel and 1st stop was at Vitry, just south of Reims, the Hotel itself a short walk from the Town square – and much needed drink and meal.
Day2.
This would take us to our base in Allevard, not far from Grenoble where we’d stay 5 nights. John and Karen decided that they’d wend their way in a more direct route leaving the rest of us to play on the smaller roads through the Jura mountains that separate France from Lake Geneva. These were a gentle build up to the ‘main event’ – the Alps, but stunning nonetheless and many Cols there feature in the Tour De France.
Coffee and lunch were at Golf Clubs.....don’t know why i hadn’t figured that before....always an open view and terrace to sit on! Slight issue with the lunch one – err, they’d stopped serving, so the guys tucked into Lemon Torte....2 of them realising as they took a mouthful that Citron means Lemon in French!
My headset had given up in the morning, worse – my music speakers had ‘gone west ‘ as well, so having reached the stop ahead of the rest i destroyed a brand new pair of ‘phones to atleast have some tunes for the rest of the day....with Rob helping me put a new radio set together later that same day.
All went swimmingly til we were about 35 miles from the Hotel.....we were travelling in formation alongside a glorious lake when the traffic started to back up. There was a bad accident ahead and the road would be shut for hours....erm, 2 choices, track back to the beginning of the Lake and find a way round the other side or try to go over the mountain that bordered it.
Phil/Rich and I made a valiant attempt only to end up in a remote farm after 3 miles of the narrowest, twistiest roads....abort!! Coming back down i got detached from them as they waited for Gary who’d got part way up and had to turn around.....i caught up with Chris/Rob on another road that actually was a ‘full’ pass over the top. We had 10 miles of m/way to do and about 10 miles of B road to the Hotel when it rained....hard. Sods Law, i reckon we’d have been into our 2nd pint if that road adn’t been shut!
Day 3.
I chose the Town- not sure if it could be classed as a real Town, ok it had a Town Square and bars, but they were mainly closed when we rocked up each evening. Amar the Hotel owner assured me that 'everything gets busy again in June'....given that he said that on May 31st i'm not convinced....anyway, i chose the location because it would allow us 4 different driving days.
The Vercors, the Ecrins, Savoie and Haute Savoie – all subtly different. Today was the Vercors....a terrific days driving along gorges beside rivers, through tiny tunnels with overhanging rocks and some great twisties that we blasted up. Rich joined us in time for some epic roads after fixing ( for teh 1st time) his exhaust ....and we took on a superb Balcony Road with views that some have no doubt died for! I caught up with the guys in a Town after detaching myself for piccies....and they were all for heading off rapidly as a storm had been forecast....sods law, the rain started as we were leaving. Hindsight showed that if we’d stayed put for 30 mins the cars would have been wet but we wouldn’t have been!
Chris and i elected a different route, i have never driven in such rain/wet, at times there were inches of water on the road; with inches of water inside my goggles, and a nice damp lap to match. As quickly as it came, it went – to the point where it was hard to see whether it had touched some of the roads. Tales followed over beers of damp/wet/aquaplaining and wet clothing – which the Hotel sorted for us. A walk down to the Town and a bite to eat sorted us out – course, the Town hadn’t had the storm at all! That’s the thing with regions like that, short violent rain that can be very localised.
Tony was missing us so he put in an appearance......
Day 4.
Wall to wall sun as the morning mist cleared.....todays was a ‘shortie’, a swift trip through the mountains to end up in a beautiful lakeside Town/City called Annecy. Needless to say all was not smooth sailing. A pass was shut which meant rerouting, no issue apart from us all getting split up due to bump starting Robs car ....we ended up with 3 ‘groups’, Chris having unfortunately taken a m/way turning, Phil, Gary and Rich taking another turning ( the right one) after Rob and I ‘went wrong’. Result for Rob and I as we caught a superb pass through the Mountains and stopped off for a cheeky coke and natter.....
We found the rest in Annecy and had a picnic lakeside and i had a little wander to snap a few shots. The route home took us over another Tour De France climb and eventually back to the Hotel....in full on scorchio conditions. Steaks, beer, banter, oh and someone else popped in to see Phil as he was missing his pal soooo much!
Day 5
The ‘clusterfeck’ day.....we were due to meet John and Karen at lunch as they wanted a slow start....after attempting a pass that frustratingly was shut ( we knew it was but wanted to see the views) we rerouted.....
minor detail was that the reroute would take us through the Frejus tunnel.....a mere e45 for the privilege....and it rained just before the tunnel and just out the other side! Another 15 minute bashing, but then the clouds lifted as we headed back into France and Briancon where some wag suggested a McShite for lunch....and where ‘someone’ (Gary) got all uppity over James ordering/not ordering/choosing a drink....oh how we dined out on that for the rest of the Tour.
We looked at the route that was left and realised that we’d be able to rejoin it, which turned out to be an awesome choice. We headed to the Lauteret Pass and stopped for coffee – and to allow me to send some emails for work, so as the others bantered i was head down trying to solve some ‘issues’. Those were initially work oriented, but soon changed to car related when i heard a misfire....looking in the engine bay i saw a loose HT lead and popped it back in place, only for it and the spark plug to exit rapidly as i fired the car up again....
Thankfully Chris kindly took on the job of carefully easing it back in ad tightening. And were good to rock and roll again....
Replenished we snapped a few shots and cracked on....with Rich deciding to head straight back to the Hotel as his exhaust was now in 2 parts....the remainers headed up and over 2 passes which were breathtaking....with a degree of concentration needed, no guardrails, road wide enough for a car and a fag paper and a few thousand feet of .....rocks a sneeze away. Thank god i don’t suffer from hayfever......achooooo.....aaaaaaargh, BAM ( well that’s what my head said at the time). Managed a few cheeky beers and banter on the Hotel terrace before 7 drops of rain fell ( yeah i bothered to count them)......
Day 6
The ‘adhoc’ itn....we scrapped the original route to allow a later start so that Rich could join us, with Chris helping to reweld the exhaust.....the idea was to hiy the Col Du Joly from which there are superb views of Mont Blanc ( when there isn’t low lying cloud)....course the pass was listed as ‘Ferme’....but we’re SKCC’ers, so we went to the top anyway because the idea was tp them turn around and hit another section of twisties.
Steve popped in to join us this day, nabbing a ride on a motorbike before jumping in our cars for a quick ‘go’.
Here from the first time we were driving a narrow road with snow on the banks and plenty more around at the top....i don’t think i’ve ever dabbed the brakes so gently, nor ‘driven’ with my foot on that pedal for so long on the descent....We had a mess around with Phils drone and i hope he got some great footage for one of his vids.....day 6 was the day that confirmed that April/May are DEAD months in France, nothing was open and nary a soul stirred.....so no chance to get a nice lunch. So we had a home made picnic from a supermarket.
We split up after lunch, with Rich taking a different route and the rest of us enjoying some fun roads as we knocked off a few miles toward the Hotel...had a 5 min shower as we closed in and minutes later the roads were steaming as the sun dried them out – just in time for Rob and I to get a clear run through some twisties that are just outside Town. Just before this I heard a 'WTF was that' in my headset, turned out that a group of German car nuts has brought their Porsches out to play - along with 2 KTM XBow's, as i looked in the mirror 1 was sitting behind me....'Can't be that quick can it'? Bloody hell i was wrong, i said a silent prayer to the traffic Gods who kindly provided 2 lorries ahead of me as i was on the verge of giving up and letting it past......then the Gods gave a nice window ( short straight) that allowed me to get past, and also allowed me to let Rob know that the coast was clear.....note to self, find out what engines those things have!
This was the day when somehow Rich managed to get a puncture 15 miles from base RAC had to call for the roadside assistance.... well he called us first ( result for Rob and I as we'd had a pint so Gary took Phil and a spare wheel to effect a repair to get him back to the Hotel....whilst the rest of us gave a toast and sipped the drinks that they’d left behind.
With the guys coming back a bit later than normal the Hotel owner who was a top guy drove us into Town to a restaurant that we didn’t know existed and kindly picked us up at the end of the meal....what with them drying out some clothing a couple of times ( don’t ask, i forgot a 2nd pair of jeans) and what with sourcing some tasty Parma ham for brekkies they went above and beyond.
Day 7 –
the ‘Doh’ day, the one where we’d turn and head Northward. Destination Troyes, a medieval Town with some beautiful architecture ....but first some miles needed to be burned off.
We had a mix of motorway to get us out of the Alps/Jura and then we were free to roam some great ( quiet roads). Rich was going to make a few alterations ( to Eleanor and join us direct at the Hotel)....
Another picnic as unbelievably France was still ‘shut’....i’m sure they must have thought ‘Crazy Englishmen, wanting to EAT at 2pm’.....
For Rob and I we had a real ‘Doh’ moment....our Sat Nav’s were slow to react ( yes it was the sat nav’s and not us that were slow) to a junction when getting on a motorway for a short stint in the middle of the afternoon.
Unfortunately Phils radio had died so he wouldn’t warn us ( we were the lead cars) and they watched ( and i reckon laughed) as we headed the wrong way. ‘Course, it happened to be a 26km stretch with no turn off’s.....so we blasted that out, bantered with a Swiss group of bikers at the toll and then blasted back.....
Hell those roads afterward were good, i’d go as far as to say Top 10, maybe even top 5 that i’ve driven. Rolling through fields, loads of uniform curves to make Marilyn Monroe wannabees envious.....some were even banked on the outside so that you could get a bit more grip and plant the car nicely.
We had few cars to pass, it was that quiet, but a couple saw us in their mirrors and i’d like to think that we livened up their boring afternoon.....those buggers cheat over there though....there was us, gently rolling through the villages at 50kmh whilst the ‘chased’ ignored the limit ( and the speed humps that caused us angst) and carried on at a fair lick.....only to see us in their mirrors a mile or two later. It was almost a shame that we hit Troyes our destination ....i’d have welcomed a few more miles of those roads.
Dinner saw the annual quiz, the newbies somewhat taken aback that the answers weren’t always so obvious, with the scores tied ( wonder how that happened) they had a ‘charade off’, with each acting out some funny sayings....can’t believe that ‘Fun isn’t a straight line’ took so much effort for them to get! Even I had to get involved with yet another tie break.....quality charading if i do say so myself....
And to finish the evening off all we needed was a couple of taxi’s, easy said a few locals, 'Go to the Station – there’s always loads there'......strange, all we found was a hooker on each corner leading to the station and a ton there with implausible wigs and skirts that were all of 4 inches below C level.
Day 8
We cracked on, heading for Reims to get a few shorts of the old Granstands and for Phil to do some drone footage. We bumped into a fellow 7 owner who i’m told by Phil was wondering about where to get his car cleaned .....i’m sure there must have been a pisstake in that comment as ours were spattered with detritus from 2000 miles of hard driving!
lunch was at the Somme, a village close to Albert being the one place all week where we actually found someone willing to provide warm food.....
After lunch we headed through fields that had lain waste to so many families, with Memorials dotted around just about every road for miles and miles. With the clock ticking we decided to knock off the last coffee stop and headed straight for the Tunnel....
Ahhh. End of the school holidays, so that won’t be busy at all then? Handy when Rob’s car didn’t like sitting on tickover.....so in an efforyt to show solidarity he and i pushed ours through the various checks until i got a call from Gary – who was having hassles. Somehow his booking Ref had been used by someone else ( not in our group) and he was having a fight ( verbal) with a muppet.....it happened that i was approaching the UK passport control (the car moving on tickover) when i was trying to help him on the phone. ‘King hell.....there’s some nice people in this world....a lovely jobsworth who nigh on threw my passport back at me as i was ‘driving illegally as i was on the phone.....anyway, after some verbal sparring Gary was able to get the same Train as us – whereas they’d threatened that he’d have to pay up again!
A moment of comedy genius was recorded as 3 of us pushed started Robs car once again, this time the 3 of us face planting ourselves as it fired up and he sped away.
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Met Rich briefly as the trains were all over the place, our own leaving 45 mins later......and suddenly we were back in Blighty.
A weeks worth of cracking roads all but a memory....but boy they were good. The group size meant that generally we stuck together, the banter during the days over the radios and then in the evenings was priceless. Including the joker(s) getting a taste of their own medicine from John and Karen – who’d filled up a condom with conditioner and tied it to my rollbar, from there it went onto everyones cars with all assuming that Rob or Phil were the instigators!
( Phil made the headlines with his drone 'activities')
Next year? Who knows, aside from those the regulars that have expressed interest, drop me a PM and let me know if you'd be up for it. Most likely it would be 3rd week of June....
