BBQ

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jeffw
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BBQ

Postby jeffw » Tue May 07, 2019 7:01 am

How to do a Proper BBQ
As we enter the BBQ season its been a while so it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
...
Routine
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her day off', and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes there's just no pleasing some women.
(13) Then the fight Starts :-p

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locost220
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Re: BBQ

Postby locost220 » Tue May 07, 2019 7:04 am

:D
Locost book chassis, Under reconstruction :D :?

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Kegco
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Re: BBQ

Postby Kegco » Tue May 07, 2019 9:12 am

:lol:
Yeah something like that!!

greenwoo
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Re: BBQ

Postby greenwoo » Tue May 07, 2019 11:23 am

close to being correct...
but it missed the argument between man and woman about salad & dessert....The man will insist that no one he knows will be the least bit interested in anything green ( barring a bottle of becks or absinthe), and that desserts are the reserve of childrens parties. He will go on to say that everyone he knows will be quite happy with bread/bun & meat and when the guests arrive will seek to ascertain this fact by soliciting the opinion of his pals. How hard he makes the point will be dependent on whether any of the guests arrive on time - which is proportionate to how many beers he'll have sampled by that time.

He will also scorn the proffered apron/pinny and instead be content to cover a decent shirt in a/ fat b/ burns.
He will also scorn the use of gloves when lighting the bbq, and be proud to show off his burns/scars throughout the occasion.

If he is a seasoned 'pro' he will place the meat on the 'cue, hand the tongs to another male and wander off - making no attempt to reclaim the tongs on his return, instead - he'll offer a few words of encouragement ( aka delegation). If he's a Grade A Pro, he'll likely pronounce that 'eating is cheating', putting a couple of burgers aside for himself for the end of the night and concentrate on increasing the profits of his favored brewery.

Given enough Dutch courage he'll be sure to remind 'the wife' that he was right about the salad as she clears umpteen barely touched bowls of the stuff - at which point the clip round the ear (verbal or physical) won't matter as he's anesthetized himself through the medication that is 'booze'.

If by some misfortune some of the food is not up to par, he'll have a list of prepared excuses;
marinade was too sticky
charcoal wasn't big enough
wind was blowing the wrong way
why can't everyone have their meat 'blue'
no one got him enough beers

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Crunchie Gears
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Re: BBQ

Postby Crunchie Gears » Wed May 08, 2019 4:57 am

Cannot wait to light up the BBQ :lol: :lol:

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Flyingtiger
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Re: BBQ

Postby Flyingtiger » Thu May 30, 2019 10:14 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Tiger Supercat 2.0 Zetec.


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